Friday, July 21, 2006
Wonder Woman
by venitha
"You dodged a bullet. Do you want to count on doing that again?"
What? Does my doctor not recognize that I am Wonder Woman? I deflect all threats with my bulletproof bracelets! I possess super strength, super speed, and a fully-fused tibial plateau! And, best of all, I fly! I fly all over tarnation and back and then on to Singapore and - Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! - round trip to Thailand all in the month following a surgery that leaves me, at least for a short time, unable to walk! And my powers - most likely my magic lasso, don't you think? - protect me from death or worse via deep-vein thrombosis, which, in layman's terms for those of you who have not had the pleasure of giving or receiving daily Lovenox injections in the stomach, is a blood clot.
As glorious as being stranded in Colorado would be, my upcoming schedule just does not allow for a month planted firmly here on solid ground, which is what my orthopedic surgeon very strongly recommends be my plan after he removes the odds and ends Doogie Howser left in my leg. Reluctantly, I admit that Doc Martens has a point, and I don't just mean that avoiding the risk of DVT is worth a little discomfort for the next year.
From my woe-is-me perspective, I was shot multiple times at point blank range; but tilt my head and squint a bit, and I dodged a bullet. I walk, and I run. I don't limp. I stretch my quad and touch my butt with my heel. I dash gracefully down entire flights of stairs - down is much harder than up. With a little hard work and a littlePercocet pain tolerance, I can do anything I want with this knee, and that's pretty frickin' amazing considering my initial prognosis.
Whaddya know? Maybe I really am Wonder Woman.
Nah. I'm just The Bionic Woman. At least for another year.
venitha
What? Does my doctor not recognize that I am Wonder Woman? I deflect all threats with my bulletproof bracelets! I possess super strength, super speed, and a fully-fused tibial plateau! And, best of all, I fly! I fly all over tarnation and back and then on to Singapore and - Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! - round trip to Thailand all in the month following a surgery that leaves me, at least for a short time, unable to walk! And my powers - most likely my magic lasso, don't you think? - protect me from death or worse via deep-vein thrombosis, which, in layman's terms for those of you who have not had the pleasure of giving or receiving daily Lovenox injections in the stomach, is a blood clot.As glorious as being stranded in Colorado would be, my upcoming schedule just does not allow for a month planted firmly here on solid ground, which is what my orthopedic surgeon very strongly recommends be my plan after he removes the odds and ends Doogie Howser left in my leg. Reluctantly, I admit that Doc Martens has a point, and I don't just mean that avoiding the risk of DVT is worth a little discomfort for the next year.
From my woe-is-me perspective, I was shot multiple times at point blank range; but tilt my head and squint a bit, and I dodged a bullet. I walk, and I run. I don't limp. I stretch my quad and touch my butt with my heel. I dash gracefully down entire flights of stairs - down is much harder than up. With a little hard work and a little
Whaddya know? Maybe I really am Wonder Woman.
Nah. I'm just The Bionic Woman. At least for another year.
venitha
