Monday, July 18, 2005
Fourth of July
by venitha
As evening descended on the Fourth of July, I sat alone in our service apartment, gazing out at a sky bereft of fireworks and pondering the last six months of my life. I hardly need real fireworks after the unwelcome explosions of last winter: Jim's father's death, Maggie's cancer diagnosis, my broken knee. And then, of course, there's that little bomb that Jim and I lit ourselves: moving to Singapore.
Each of the last six years, Jim and I spent both the Fourth of July and our anniversary, the following day, in Crested Butte, hiking, mountain biking, enjoying the company of good friends. It's a yearly dose of heaven on earth. In all honestly, I wish I were there right now, though I admit that this has much to do with the weather, a cool 72 in CB, and that I frequently feel exactly this same yearning in Colorado, at home in Ft Collins.
July Fourth 2005, however, found me in Singapore and Jim in Taiwan after an early anniversary celebration on a beach in Indonesia. Can this really be my life? It's somehow appropriate in this year of ever-escalating chaos, each blast bigger and brighter than the one before. But I think of my life just one year ago and am amazed. How did this happen? And, worse, what could be next?!?
Right now, what I hope is next, what I have to believe is next in order to maintain my sanity here, is a big bucket of cold water. A return to normal life. A return to cooler temperatures and lower humidity. A return to Colorado and another 6 or 16 or 26 summer vacations in Crested Butte.
Until then, however, I might light a few sparklers here in Asia. Do you hear me, God? Sparklers! Just sparklers! From now on, let's please leave the real fireworks to the professionals, and I will enjoy the show from a distance and the comfort of my rooftop garden.
Singapore's National Day is August 9th and will undoubtedly provide a sky filled with fireworks. And with any luck, Jim will be in town.
venitha
Each of the last six years, Jim and I spent both the Fourth of July and our anniversary, the following day, in Crested Butte, hiking, mountain biking, enjoying the company of good friends. It's a yearly dose of heaven on earth. In all honestly, I wish I were there right now, though I admit that this has much to do with the weather, a cool 72 in CB, and that I frequently feel exactly this same yearning in Colorado, at home in Ft Collins.
July Fourth 2005, however, found me in Singapore and Jim in Taiwan after an early anniversary celebration on a beach in Indonesia. Can this really be my life? It's somehow appropriate in this year of ever-escalating chaos, each blast bigger and brighter than the one before. But I think of my life just one year ago and am amazed. How did this happen? And, worse, what could be next?!?
Right now, what I hope is next, what I have to believe is next in order to maintain my sanity here, is a big bucket of cold water. A return to normal life. A return to cooler temperatures and lower humidity. A return to Colorado and another 6 or 16 or 26 summer vacations in Crested Butte.
Until then, however, I might light a few sparklers here in Asia. Do you hear me, God? Sparklers! Just sparklers! From now on, let's please leave the real fireworks to the professionals, and I will enjoy the show from a distance and the comfort of my rooftop garden.
Singapore's National Day is August 9th and will undoubtedly provide a sky filled with fireworks. And with any luck, Jim will be in town.
venitha
