Blue Eyes, Green Dollars, Gray Skies by venitha

From the posh LAX United lounge, where I ate - and forced the still-hacking-up-lungs Jim to eat - all the oranges...

My impressions:

• Americans are huge, and the women have enormous breasts. Wow. And blue eyes are beautiful beautiful beautiful.
  
• Americans talk annoyingly loudly and, of equal annoyance, they speak a language I can understand. It's much easier to tune out the chaos in Asian airports, where my mind filters the cacophony of languages into subdued variations on Charlie Brown's teacher.
  
• Public restrooms here rock. God bless the USA.

Jim's impressions:

• That cool blast of air between the plane and jetway was not aircon. I may be in heaven!
  
• US airport security is out of control. Take off my shoes? And my watch? And get out my laptop? Not a single foreign airport I've been through in the last year even comes close to this level of scrutiny.
  
• It's odd not to be a racial minority. No one is staring at me, which is strange, but nice. And no one is giving me special treatment, which is also strange, and would be nice if United hadn't just cancelled the third leg of this 24-hour journey.

*****

From the cold and snowy Denver International Airport Hertz rental car lot, where I lost the virtual coin toss and found myself in the driver's seat:

"Hey, hey! I'm driving! Whee! Look at me! Wait - shit! Which side of the road do I...?"

*****

From a slight detour on our way home:

Proof there is a God: I got to hug Maggie today.


venitha